Skip to main content

Accepting our disabilities

Kalyanaraman is a movie I really like and I have watched it countless times.  It is, of course, famous for its humour, which, however, is not the topic of this article.  

In the movie, Jyothirmayi is a mute.  After various attempts, her marriage is fixed.  The groom, however, elopes the day before marriage with someone else.  The girl's father requests some of the relatives present at the wedding if one of their sons could marry her.  But, they were evidently uninterested and giving excuses.  In fact, they were trying to push it on to each other. Finally, they suggest that it is better to find another "disabled" person for her.  This infuriates him.  He says "It is better if she remains unmarried.  I will protect her till I am alive and after that God will".

It is understandable that under such situations one might get hurt and angry.  I do not find fault in that.  At the same time, I feel the same is true about the other party.  I agree unsolicited advice can often be avoided.  Here, however, the situation is quite different.  They had tried in multiple polite ways to decline the marriage proposal. 

Now, observe the completely opposite portrayal of the same issue in another Dileep movie - Kunjikoonan.  In the movie, Dileep has a hunchback.  He has a strong desire to get married and goes to meet several girls.  One among them is a dwarf.  Within the hearing range of Dileep, the girl shouts "how can you consider marrying me off to a hunchback?  I would rather stay single for my entire life".  In this movie, the girl is ridiculed for being unable to see her disability.

In yet another movie, Lobster, disability is used as a criterion for choosing partners.  Lobster is a weird movie.  It is a movie about a dystopian future where people who remain single beyond an age are sent to a special camp.  One has to find a partner within this camp in a stipulated time, or face a cruel end.  A satire on the societal pressure to find a partner.  In this movie, almost all characters in the camp choose a partner with a shared disability.  The director's intention behind such a portrayal is still unclear to me.  Is he saying, people with similar disabilities might better understand each other?  Is it a jab at people's criteria for choosing a partner?  We can only speculate.   

While one need not specifically look for someone with disabilities, I feel, one should always try to accept our disabilities.  At the very least we should judge ourselves and others using the same scale.  Do not expect others to accept your disabilities if you are not ready to accept others' disabilities.  


Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Kettiyollaanu Ente Maalakha

Kettiyollaanu Ente Maalakha is the story of Sleevachan (Asif Ali), a good-natured individual ignorant of the ways of romance and sex.  Although he had avoided marriage until 35, he decides to marry to care for his ageing mother.  The rest of the movie is about his struggles in the journey forward. I would like to get a bit into the story as some of it begs discussion.  Thus, there will be some spoilers, but I believe they would not really spoil anything. Soon after fixing the marriage, he starts panicking.  He even confesses to the local priest that he is feeling stressed because of his ignorance.  However, the priest casually dismisses these worries.  After marrying Rincy, he is unable to initiate a physical relationship, causing even more stress.  Sleevachan's struggles were cracking up people all around me, and I felt, perhaps that was the director's intention.  Those very same scenes were, however, making me extremely uncomfortable.  Stealing Naruto's words, &quo

Naruto; the saddest death

For me, the saddest death in Naruto, is undoubtedly, Yashamaru's death. Let me say a few words about why I think so. For me death by itself is not sad. I would in fact say that death is a blessing for the one who is dying. It is sad for those who are left behind. From that perspective I think Yashamaru's death is the saddest. Yashamaru was the only comforting figure in the life of Gaara. The moment it is revealed that the assassin who tried to kill him was that same Yashamaru was heart breaking. The way Gaara cries "Yashamaru.." still resonates in my mind. Loneliness is one of the central themes of the anime. And, that scene captures it so magnificently. One of the most touching moments in the anime. There are several other deaths for which I shed a lot of tears. Like the deaths of Haku or Zabuza or Jiraiya or Obito. But they truly shine through their deaths. As Jiraiya himself says "The true measure of a shinobi is not how he lives but how h

Kumbalangi nights

I was not impressed by Kumbalangi nights.  I don't mean to say it is a bad film.  It is certainly worth watching.  The cinematography is extraordinary.  Also, it has its moments - nice little dialogues.  But with all that, it is just an average film, or so I feel.  As I had explained in a post before , people expect explanations when you express dislike.  Actually, I wouldn't say I dislike, but I did not like it as much as others - the people I talked to.  And, in this case, I think I understand some of the reasons.  And I will be sharing those reasons with you. What do you feel when you hear someone saying "These impoverished people are so lucky.  Wish I had a skinny body like them"?  Movies like Kumbalangi nights elicit the same emotion in me.  The major problem poor people face is lack of money.  If you make a movie on the poor and completely take money out of the equation, that makes no sense.  Kumbalangi nights does precisely that.  Not even once had they show